Edie Brickell - "What I Am"

"I'm sorry, I don't think I want to be friends with you. I just don't. I don't want to be polite with you. I don't want to have small talk with you. Anyway, enjoy your evening. Enjoy your life. Cool cigarette."

Last night's episode of Girls was so perfect. When Ray says these lines to Shosanna, it was a punch in the gut because I know what it is to say those lines, what it is to be in that place where you have to make friendly small-talk with someone you used to date, where things are not what they used to be anymore, and how painful that is. I am pretty certain I have also said nearly verbatim those exact same lines on at least a couple of occasions. When, later in the episode, he is listening to Smashing Pumpkins in his miserable state, it all is a little too much for me. Mellon Collie has gotten me through so many rough periods of my life over the last twenty years.

Another perfect moment in this episode which contains quite a few of them is when Marnie, another character I am identifying with more and more, exclaims about how excited she is to have a bunch of party pictures to post to Instagram because she knows, just knows, her ex still checks it. Perfection. The writing in this episode is so great and really captures the details of life in 2014 so well.

I watched a lot of stuff this past weekend - Looking, The Act of Killing, and The Square. It was really nice to sit on my couch and eat food and sleep in and relax. School started again for me a couple weeks ago and my body is so exhausted by the time the weekend finally comes around that even watching a film all the way through is a bit of an accomplishment for me.

There was also a moment this weekend in which I was making out with this very attractive man at Metropolitan. He asked me old I was. I told him. I asked him old he was. He was 23. Beards are deceiving. We chatted, made out, and he then told me I was too drunk. A 23 year old at a gay bar told me I was too drunk. Okay. I don't know what that means other than that I might have been too drunk, but it certainly could mean, signify, other things in addition. I danced to various songs, cruised boys, and then decided all I really wanted to take home with me was a sandwich.