The rain has been steady since I woke up this morning around 8, when Jacob came home from work. I woke up, my day off, and the two of us hung out on our couch, eating breakfast sandwiches from the bodgea around the corner, getting stoned, and watching some Curb Your Enthusiasm. I had some vague plans for my day off that involved going to the gym, going to a couple of thrift stores, and maybe going to see a movie. At this point, it is seemingly unlikely that any of these will be done, though the movie does have much better odds than the gym or thrift stores. Not that it is that difficult to carry an umbrella, but residual effects from this weed are making me feel too lazy to do much other than play online.

Yesterday, the two of us made the stupid decision to go to Ikea, not realizing that Sundays at Ikea make the place even more of a hell than it normally is, which is saying quite a bit. Pushy families everywhere, our cart stolen from us twice, three various lines just to pick up a table, annoying announcements over the loud speaker every thirty seconds. I was ready to lose my mind. Luckily we escaped with our new kitchen table and found a livery cab outside right away that sped like a crazy person on the BQE and got us back to the safe space of our apartment in such a short amount of time. We assembled two chairs and this table, positioned them in the corner of our kitchen, extended one of the table legs so it didn't wobble on our uneven floor, and now I sit here in front of my kitchen window, like I have dreamed about, looking out on to all the green in our backyard and listening to the rain fall when I am not listening to Arcade Fire. I am reading old diary entries and thinking about my life, wondering what it is I need to do to make myself happy.

I would like a new bed sometime in the near future. I would like to go to South America very soon and have Jacob applying for his passport, so that perhaps we can make this happen. I buy lotto tickets a couple times a week in the serious hopes of winning, pinning some idea of escape on printed tickets that cost a dollar a piece. I am cooking a frozen pizza from Trader Joe's in my oven right now and hardly eating like I should be. I will blame this too on the rain, on making me not want to venture to the store to pick up some greens and fruits of various kinds. I also really want to see Niagara Falls. I don't necessarily want to return to work tomorrow, and I feel that way often. I should be looking at job listings today and putting this free time to better use. I google image search pictures of that or this place. I play around on Kayak several times a day, looking up flight prices to this or that city. I dream a lot.