beltane

This was written in a tiny little notebook on Beltane while I was tripping on mushrooms and hiding in my tent from a torrential rainstorm that would flood the city of Nashville.

Dear Diary,

You are the original Facebook status update for me. I am here in the woods of Short Mountain and want to post something to FB for reasons I am not sure of really -
is it to communicate something to other people
(anyone specific though?)
and what
and why

I am here in the rain and came to this tent because of really dumb logic that I wanted to see Jacob and Bob and thought that they might be at the tent -

um, is my rental car going to be washed away in the mud?

that will probably be very, very expensive and then I probably will certainly regret having considered this trip

um, also I'm kind of tripping balls right now -

took some chocolate mushrooms -

started shivering in rain
went into steam room

if i just take a nap, maybe it will quit raining -

um, i need to quit coming here

I hate the rain
wha???

want to lie in my bed with Jacob right now, no idea where he might be, also don't want to put on clothes to get them wet again

ugh...

why am I wishing cellphones worked here to reach him?

kind of really in love with - no, am really in love with him and want to see him -

lightning, thunder!!!

why am I here?

bad decision to come to Short Mountain in the rain, also bad decision to come back to tent - ugh!!

I hate the rain!!!

why am I using so many exclamation points - there was a period of my life not too long ago in which my intent was to seriously communicate things with language

um, took too long to handwrite

going underneath my covers to nap...
?