420

Woke up late and exchanged some emails with my bosses at work about transferring to another department, to working in events, which may be less money, which may be less steady, but which would also be more fun, less early morning weekend shifts, and which would also be a change and an escape from the office I have been in for a year and a half now. We'll see what happens with this when I go in to work again on Friday, slightly worried about it, but also feeling quite liberated now that I have put it out there that I no longer want to work in my department. There is more and I would like to talk about it, but let's leave it at that as talking about work subjects on the www is never good form and can only have bad consequences.

Next subject. Today is beautiful and after these emails were sent out, I smoked a bowl because it is a certain day and went out to do some errands and to go to the gym. I got on the elliptical machine at the gym and got really into it in my stoned state and watched absolutely horrified an episode of "16 and Pregnant" on MTV and really began to wonder about where society was headed. I tried to lift some weights after that but found that a bit too taxing and requiring more focus than I was capable of mustering.

I went into the steam room, which was lacking in actual steam. Faces became more and more visible, features did. The few of us kept on looking to the temperature regulator that controls when more steam will come on. We all wanted to hide ourselves, to be shrouded in mist, freed from seeing each other, seeing ourselves. We wanted to be shapeless. An older man with werewolf toenails pressed desperately against the temperature regulator hoping to make the steam come on. People were too sad looking in the light of the steam room and it just felt like a bacteria trap with its lukewarm temperature. There had been this really sexy guy seated next to me and that he became more and more visible was not a problem. His back reminded me of Taylor Lautner, perhaps an association inspired by the old man's werewolf-like toenails. He was about my age and seemed too much of a peer, too nice somehow, for me to be overtly sexual with him.

I moved to the sauna because I wanted some heat and to relax. He moved as well and was soon seated next to me. It was the two of us alone in there and we kept on shyly looking out of the corners of our eyes but wouldn't let our eyes meet. I wanted to start chatting him up but I was stoned and it seemed like the most difficult and unnatural thing in the world. He left. Some older man came in and sat across from me with legs wide open so I could see his hard dick underneath his towel. I smiled. He started touching himself. I did as well. Taylor Lautner came back and touched himself. The guy across from me left to go to the steamroom with some other sexy daddy, leaving me alone again with this cute guy. He walked over to me, rewrapping his towel, huge beautiful boner for me to see. He made some motions with his eyes for me to follow him into the steamroom. I did. It was crowded. I ended up sitting between him and werewolf toenails who was jerking off and looking at me real hungry and I wanted him to look elsewhere. His gaze made me too self-conscious, made me think of him rather than Taylor Lautner next to me. I couldn't deal, was too stoned, and had spent far too long in these heated rooms already. I took a shower, put La Roux on my headphones, ate a big burger across the street, and made my way home, unsure about a lot but really quite happy about regardless. I am moving in with Jacob in June. We are not sure if we are going to stay in my apartment or find a new one. I have to wait and see how things go with my job this week, make sure I still have one at the end of this week. But I am feeling freer and freer. My rent is going to be cut in half. I am going to live with this boy I am in love with. I am going to be working less and hopefully working a more fun job. I am going to go the beach a lot this summer. I am going to try to get my bike ready for summer bike rides tonight. I am listening to La Roux again, having downloaded her as well as the new LCD Soundsystem and Caribou, am really into all this beautiful dance music, really want to dance tonight, but don't know of any place to do so, and know of some fun dance parties the next two nights so am thinking I should maybe just store my dancing desire for those parties.