In the elevator, riding up to the apartment, I wanted to turn back. The elevator was filled with other people going to the bukkake party. They were the type of people had I an imagination more based in reality and its actual grittiness may have imagined as the type of people likely to attend such a function, however my imagination didn't do so and so I was surprised when Diego and I were riding up this elevator with the type of people that dash quickly into porn stores, creepy looking middle aged guys that looked like they never spent time in the sunlight, probably spent all their time masturbating in front of their computers.

The apartment and its setup continued the unsexiness of the elevator ride up to the place. Porn was playing on the television. Loud techno was playing. All the furniture was covered in protective plastic sheets. There were some cute people at the party, but there were also some not-cute creepy people there. I was getting it on with Diego at one point and looked up to see about twenty guys jerking off, watching us. That was too much for me to handle and I ran away from Diego, ran away from the hungry eyes of the watchers, and found a spot in a corner, where I was able to observe people getting their dicks sucked, really one of my favorite sights to watch, both the expression of the person getting head and the person giving it, those expressions and the actual dick thrusting in and out of someone's mouth.

The bukkake bottom lied on a bench in the middle of the room and drank a glass of jizz that apparently someone had been saving up for the event. People came in his mouth slowly. He would sniff poppers in between loads. I came in his mouth. I found Diego. We gathered our clothes and left.

My love of Diego has been growing a lot during these last few days, what we are entirely undefined at this point, both admitting at some point in these past few days that the problem was trying to define it, trying to be something. I get so much joy from just looking at him, making eye contact. We ended up by the Hudson, sat on a bench along the river, it a bit late and the park empty. The moon was so fantastic at this point. It was a brilliant orange, fiery orange, and setting over New Jersey. He was asking me about my family. Some guy sat on the bench next to us even though there was the entire park of empty benches. I kept on talking to Diego but noticed that this guy kept glancing at us and that he kept on rubbing his crotch. He would stop rubbing his crotch whenever I looked in his direction, but I knew what was going on and it drove me crazy. I got up to leave, Diego confused because he had his back to the creepy man and was unaware of what was going on. We walked further down the river, away from the creepy guy, me having gotten more than my fill of creepy men at the bukkake party. I ranted to Diego about how rude that guy was, that this city was full of sexual maniacs, of perverts. Diego reminded me where we had just come from, told me that we were perverts, that we had just come from a bukkake party.

The moon was so beautiful and I felt so lucky to be able to observe it with this boy that I like a lot, like more each day. I held his hand and walked to the subway with him and felt really comfortable, really happy, whatever thing we have making me forget the stupid aspects of my life, making me again aware of the joys to be had.