This morning, apologies and declarations were said, an early morning phone call with Diego where he told me what I could tell in his voice earlier in the day, that I had upset him. He told me that I scared him with my behavior, that he didn't know how reckless I could be. He was worried about what he had become involved with and the worry in his voice I knew was him wondering how attached he should become to this person, to me, given this knowledge. I was told that if I have unsafe sex again, our relationship was over. I promised not to, really upset with myself for doing it, for upsetting Diego, for pouring water on something that had been so nice lately, and really wondered what the fuck was wrong with me.

I ate at Zocolo's for the first time since moving out of my last apartment and their chicken mole burritos are still good enough to make me moan. I biked with Niki along the Williamsburg waterfront, seeing tall condos that weren't there the last time I had been there, seeing the transformation of this part of town I know so well into something else, something I don't recognize.