I went over to this guy's house last night that I see occasionally. He offered me pot and I jumped at the offer, looking to get stoned out of my mind. I kept smoking from this joint even after we had made our way into his bedroom, as we were undressing, wanting to be totally lost and afraid that this was not very good pot of his. And I have no idea if it was or not, the amount I smoked enough of any weed to make me totally lost. He had some techno music playing and a porn playing. He sucked my dick and that, the movements of his mouth, the beats in the music and the porno scene on his television all combined so lovely, as if they were working in sync. And I joined this harmonious rhythm of perversity, totally lost in this physical action and getting more and more turned on by what was happening on his television screen. Sex while stoned, God, fuck God, so amazing it is.

The porn was of the Eastern European variety, the genre he normally plays while I am over, and which I appreciate since I love the look of these boys. The scene that was occurring on screen was too perfect and I could not believe how excellent it was, how it was made for me, that the director obviously shared the same sexual tastes that I did. The main boy in the scene contained elements from so many boys I am and have been obsessed with, pieces of all my sexual fantasies and obsessions assembled seamlessly in the form of this Eastern European boy with a big dick getting head from another lovely boy. The two boys were in these tight swim trunks, which turn me on so much. They were filmed outdoors, another check. And then they were wearing these cute sandals throughout the scene, and this might have been the thing that made this scene seem too perfect to me. My fetish for cute feet in sandals, something that was really strong in high school and has since dwindled to where I don't care either way, was brought back to the surface in a major way, perhaps because of the pot, perhaps because this scene was so hot, and I recalled the feet of some boys that I used to be obsessed with in high school and they were this person's feet, this boy in the video. He was they; they, he. And God, this scene made me so hot, like nothing else has come close to in so long, perhaps ever. I cannot think of the last time I have made so much pleasurable noise. Just recalling these details, conjuring that scene again in its hazy recalled detail, is turning me on.

After I left his house, I walked up to Chelsea to meet some friends. The night was beautiful, the streets were fairly empty, and I kept on trying to figure out why, then kept remembering that it was somewhat late and somewhat cold, being oblivious of time and temperature, and I remembered some other things, so many things.