I was supposed to go over to Ryan's house last night and hang out with him, but my stomach and bowels weren't feeling too hot, and so I made up a less disgusting excuse and canceled. And now he is busy the next couple of days and then going to be out of town until Wednesday. I am kind of nervous about seeing this boy again, that the second time you see someone, that first time after meeting them, after sleeping with them, is always a little awkward, and seemingly, things would have been better left at a one night stand. But then again, I am so excited to see him because my name is dog in heat these past couple days.

Tomorrow, I am supposed to go to jury duty. I am not excited about missing work, missing getting paid, to probably sit in some boring government building in downtown Brooklyn. The fact that I am supposed to report there at 8:45 has me even less excited.

Last night, I watched Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. This, after watching the first season of the tv show over the last couple weeks. And as I do with most David Lynch movies, even though I was enjoying it a lot, I could not stay awake for the ending. During the last ten minutes, I knew that it was the last ten minutes, and kept on switching my position on the couch, kept on trying to hold my eyes open, but I was drugged by this movie and they kept closing on their own, and perhaps that's the best way to watch this, to submit to his dream world by having a few of your own, by letting his nightmarish visions play around in your head as you fall in and out of sleep.

The movie was really good, but I like what the tv show does even better. The tv show is a little more coy. There is that lineage of Sirk/Fassbinder/Haynes, who all stretched melodrama into something else. And with the tv show, Lynch also is more concerned with melodrama, but in this creepy, lovely way. I love "Invitation to Love," the soap opera that is always playing on the televisions of Twin Peaks, and that's what the show is - a cracked mirror version of "Invitation to Love," but not altogether distinct from it either, Lynch showing the stuff latent in all of that melodrama, the possibilities. The movie, on the other hand, is more typical of David Lynch, unbound as he is by tv censors and network execs, that it's weirder (and thus, more typical somehow), more focused in its storyline, not needing to have the multiple storylines a soap opera or tv show needs to have to propel it through a season or two. The movie is a totally different animal than the tv show, not better, not worse, just different.

Fuck jury duty. And fuck this never ending gloomy weather! How much rain is too much?