Because I spent my whole day playing with sentences, because I found myself mentally transcribing the play by play the announcers (including Jesse the Body Ventura) were doing to Wrestlemania III, imagining where periods and commas would be, how I would write what they were saying - because I am scared about what I am becoming, a lack of sentences here, a list:

bought five bottles of wine at Trader Joe's because I have no self control
have not popped the cork to one
popped the caps of three cans of Schlitz, however
watched Wrestlemania III, which expect to here about because it was:
amazing
watched The Family Stone, which was:
not amazing, save for, of course:
sarah jessica parker, and
luke dreamboat wilson
new buffalo is also amazing, and also featured in a
crest commerical, about which i say:
wtf
?

tomorrow, adele and i are painting our living room
i am going to blast music and perhaps
drink more schlitz
maybe one of those five bottles of
cheap trader joe's wine

there was going to be a song called
you say artist, i say douchebag
a song by the theoritical bah lidge
a verse to which could be:
you say poem
i say list
you say poetry
i say prose with line breaks
you say sentences with clipped rhythms
but i've got hands that do the same
and do it better

douchebag.
[and he bows]