I am getting depressed and so I need a job because I need a reason to get out of the house every day, otherwise, left to my own devices, I do nothing with myself, don't leave the house all day, or if I do, only do so to walk three, maybe four blocks to go get some food, and instead spend my day, my life doing nothing, no physical activity to release those endorphins, and spend my time not even horny, just bored, but yet still looking at porn sites for hours.

I have eight dollars right now and sort of want to strangle one of my current roommates and one of my former roommates, Jillian and Dara. I paid various utility bills last week to avoid them being turned off and so really, I should have about three hundred something dollars in addition to those eight, but Jillian is unable to pay me until the 13th and Dara is going to pay me who knows when. It is almost more frustrating than being broke, this knowledge that really I do have more money, I just have to wait for these people to pay me or find some sex work, which didn't happen tonight - and so I am not being able to partake in pleasures that I enjoy, like say eating things other than pasta, going out to bars, and yeah, um, riding the subway. All dressed up and nowhere to go is how I feel.

Tomorrow to avoid a similar feeling of hitting ten o'clock and realizing I've done nothing with my day, I plan on waking up early and completing a bike ride before noon. Then some coffee and lunch. A couple hours of job hunting both real and sex work. Then a couple hours reading on my roof, than some more sex work hunting. And maybe I will have gotten money from Dara by that point and if so, I am going out dancing and getting obliterated. If not, another night with you LJ. Not that I don't love you, but you know.