gawker intern

So, Gawker is/was looking for an intern, and this is the email I just sent them. I would be very surprised to actually get a response from them.

Well, there is the fact, which perhaps, I shouldn't be too proud of, and certainly should not be listing as my first qualification to fetch coffee for the Gawker staff - but I am a lush, a broke one, and so have ferried my ass all over this city chasing the free booze from art openings to hipster bars to decidedly unhip bars. And yes, this is a plus in my favor, knowing perhaps too much about this city, particularly about its trashy scenesters.

The second qualification I am going to list is what I do on those hungover morning afters, spending too much of my time reading all those various internet periodicals: Livejournal, Maud Newton, Pitchfork, The Morning News, Black Table, Brooklyn Vegan, Lastnightsparty, The Corbra Snake, and yes, Gawker. So basically, I am the perfect candidate, that loser with too much time on his hands and familiar enough with New York to have that jaded attitude where all I want to do is poke holes in inflated egos.

And since everything good comes in threes, the third qualification, perhaps the only one that might typically be granted that descriptor, and surely the one I would have listed first had I been applying to some place other than Gawker, would be my previous experience writing and editing. I edited two publications in college, one, a queer send up of masculinity by way of Tiger Beat called Meat Beat. And so yes, I have a basic knowledge of Quark, Photoshop and various other computer programs.

What enables those first two qualifications, the drunkenness and hungoverness, is my current lack of employment, meaning that I am ready and willing to fetch coffee and crack jokes about rich people whenever needed. I would be really excited to intern with Gawker and I hope to hear back from you soon.

Thanks so much,
Charlie Q
[redacted]@gmail.com
917.XXX.XXXX