i doubt it

I just walked into the library, past what quite possibly may be the hottest boy I have seen so far in Madison, and there are lots of hot boys here, so that is saying a lot, a damn lot. He was just sitting on this ledge of the library, talking on his cell phone, looking h-o-t-t-t as Bonnie has become very fond of saying about a certain roomate of ours. Seeing hot, presumably gay boys always has the effect of making me feel woefully inadequate. I am wearing the same blue pair of worker pants that I think I have worn everyday for probably the last six months with the occasional wearing of a different pair of pants, when I didn't feel like going for the Dickies look, or when I had to do laundry. In addition, I am wearing some ratty old sweater since it is cold today. Fashionable boys always make me feel so so unhip. This is wrong of me to feel this way, yes. I need to not care what I, or anyone else, looks like. But I do. And so, today might involve a trip to the thrift store so I can find some cool old shirts like the hot boy outside the library was wearing. But, I also might need to get a lot more in shape so that I will not look like a twelve year old who borrowed his older brother's clothes.

In other news that probably makes me seem like more of a whiney loser, I am without a job, without friends, and without even Bonnie to amuse myself with during the daytime. So, maybe quitting PIRG was not the best idea since now I spend my time walking to the library, checking my email, and reading books holed up in my room way far away from the ag boys. Bonnie is appearantly the queen of PIRG, making far more money than her quota, so much so, that today she gets to be "the big cheese," and wear this silly cheese hat that you always see people wearing at Packers games. And so, it does not look like Bonnie is going to be fired for failing to make quota like she feared, but rather has a bright summer ahead of her at PIRG. And if it sounds like I'm talking a lot about Bonnie's life, that's because at the moment I do not have one of my own. I am as close to lifeless as you could possibly get. I really just want a fucking job so that I will at least feel like I am doing something, no matter how menial or horrible it may be. Someplace, anyplace, please just fucking hire me. Moving to a college town over the summer is not the best idea because since it is a college town and a large portion of its residents only reside here during the school year, that means that there are not that many jobs available, in fact hardly any, except for PIRG of course, which is no longer an option for me. Maybe I will find some place that is hiring when I walk to the thrift store.

At least tomorrow is the People for Cities day of workshops to protest the Mayor's Conference - that'll give me something to do. And hopefully, Rebecca will still come for this weekend's protests, although she said it looked sort of doubtful.