tired from working all day. tired of my dad's bullshit. tired of loneliness. tired of friends i do have. tired and need to go to bed. or how bout we j

tiredness to the max. why am i trying to write about my tiredness? go to bed you stupid motherfucker.

okay, work forever, came home, mom yelled and screamed at dad on phone because he's the biggest asshole in the world and stole one of my mom's checkbooks the last time she let him stay here and cashed a bunch of checks to buy drugs. god, i hate my dad, and really feel terrible for wishing that i want him to die right now instead of in three months. and i should not have just written that. some things should only be thought. writing gives them a permanence that will i'm sure make me feel like a dickhead when my dad does in fact die. went out with sarah to meet her friends and go to a movie. her friends were not where we were supposed to meet them, because sarah's fighting with lisa, and blah. did not see a movie, sarah drove around looking for their cars at the various diners they hang out at and was so mad, and i was so sad and kept on suggesting we should just go see a movie and stop driving around everywhere. but nope, no movie and two hours driving aroudn NoVA. found them at damons. sarah and lisa fought. i dreamed of how i should have just gone to the movies by myself to see something. there aren't any midnight showings of movies, the last showings were all at like 10:30, what the fuck is that about? then went to ihop with sarah, sat there for way too long. waitress was space cadet galore. i asked for a water and she asked me if i wanted a small or large water. and then lemon or no lemon. sarah asked for a coke. and the waitress asked no questions. too many other weird things at ihop. was falling asleep at table. told sarah i wanted to go. and now am about to snuggle up in bed, before waking up to go back to work. oh and my sister comes home for spring break tomorrow. i am very excited.

ADDENDUM (3/2/02 10:30 pm) okay, two things i forgot to mention about yesterday. good things. gary hit a shoplifter with a big stick. yelling ensued. police and general excitement at yes yesterday. second thing: i got to climb on top of the roof. gary showed me how to reset the coolers, and we got to climb on the roof. spider-man, look out, you got some competetion.