the snow was a no show

rejected. all i wanted was for you to talk to me, to maybe hold my hand if things went well. and then if things went real well, i would have woken up before you in your bed, and watched you sleep sleep sleep. but things did not go so well.

they went fucking horribly.

not one motherfucking flake fell from the sky today. that was all my heart wanted. hot sex? who cares. world peace? fuck that. all i wanted in the world for the past two days was to see glorious snow fall from the sky, to have my edward scissorhands moment dancing in the snow as it started to fall.

i waited all day for my hot date to arrive. kept checking out the window to see his car pull up. no show. i am the fat, geeky high school girl who was jokingly asked to the prom by the quarterback, and waited all night in her gown, kept thinking that the next car was going to be the limo. waited all motherfucking night, buttonaire in hand waiting for my quarterback. my mom had been giving me concerned glances all night before finally coming to me, saying: something must have happened, i don't think he's going to come, why don't you come to bed honey. it hurt you say to it, mom. i said: no, i'm not tired. and i waited some more by that window hoping for my date to show up - knowing that he would, he wouldn't stand me up. i finally consented to being stood-up as the clock stroke twelve, crying that my pumpkin/carriage never even made it to the ball. took off my new dress, upset that no one saw me twirl in it. it twirled really good. hung it back in the closet, and cried into my pillow until i fell asleep.