press 1 for yes and 3 for no

i am so upset right now. the reason for this is that i am not allowed to work at borders because i was unable to pass this rehiring test that i've already taken and passed twice the other times i worked at borders. how the fuck did i not pass this test? it is this stupid stanton survey, that is like ten minutes long and consists of five million variations of the same fucking question: is it okay to steal?

even though i steal a lot, i'm not a complete fucking moron and am not going to respond yes to that question to a place that is considering hiring me. i took the stupid survey about two weeks ago now at borders and i had been wondering why it was taking them so long to tell me when i could come into work. how in the hell is this possible? the only possible thing i can think of is that i pressed the wrong buttons. i took it in someone's cubicle over the phone, half paying attention and reading all the comics tacked to this person's cubicle while the questions were being read by this stupid automated system.

you know how those automated things take ten years to say a fucking question and you're like uh-huh uh-huh get to the fucking part where i can push a button. and for the whole time 1 was yes and 3 was no on the phone pad. maybe i got them mixed up i don't know. but regardless, my inability to pass this motherfucking test is making feel slightly dumb.

would you steal from your employer if you wouldn't get caught?
3

would you report a fellow employee you witnessed stealing?
1

is it all right to take just a little bit of change from the cash register?
3

are you a fucking idiot for somehow not being able to pass this stupid test?
1

in other news, hunter college did not have me on file and registration started sunday, which means that i have missed the first four days of registration. they are now just fixing this problem and i should be able to register by tomorrow, and of course i'm sure every single class i want to take will be full by that point. and my grandma is coming to visit my family tonight. and, i still haven't found a place for me and nikki to live in ny. i am going to call a bunch of listings right now. and oh, i so don't even want to tell my mom why i can not work at borders, she is going to think that i am grade a dumb.