This is my letter of resignation from Sherwood Hall Public Library, where I was a page for two years, and quit after a new boss, Jenifer, was hired and was a big dickhead to me and Poonum. I'm such an asshole sometimes.
to: jenifer, ruby, and florence
from: a mister charlie q
subject: my resignation (effective immediately)
-Dave Matthews
I always have told myself that I would never do anything I did not like, and I am not intent on making myself out to be a liar, so with that I must quit my page position today. I will not work one more day in that environment. I no longer enjoy it; to be honest I dread it. There are too many egos there that are not conducive to a pleasant time—case in point: Sue (the volunteer supervisor) and on occasions, Jenifer. I break away before I waste another second of my life doing something I do not enjoy. C’est la vie; Life is too beautiful to not enjoy and so I remove my cancer by leaving this unpleasantness behind. I wish everyone I worked with a future with few frowns.
Telephone Booth Number 905 ½
by Pedro Pietri
woke up this morning
feeling excellent
picked up the telephone
dialed the number of
my equal opportunity employer
to inform him that I will not
be into work today
“Are you feeling sick?”
the boss asked me
“No Sir” I replied:
I am feeling too good
to report to work today,
if I feel sick tomorrow
I will come in early
